Janet, you are a wonder and I hope you might actually make a go of it.  
I smiled & smiled reading your musings.

But then I wondered when I looked back at your list of "hassles and
discomforts" and thought, "aren't those the very reasons we do it?   If
not for them, we'd have no stories & tall tales to swap with other
birders, and perhaps that really is the purpose behind it all ? ? ?"

Just a thought.

Leo Weigant

>>>  2/17/2005 4:18:48 PM >>>
Okay, I've got a question: Why is it easy to find a helpful guide when
travelling thousands of miles to see exotic birds, but 100 miles from
home
you're on your own? Here's my fantasy, and if anyone makes a genuine
business out of this I expect a royalty...

Rarity Search Valet - "Your List is Our Living"

Are you tired of the hassles and discomfort of chasing rare birds?

* Shortage of safe and legal parking
* Inadequate shelter from sun, wind, rain and extreme temperatures
* Lack of food or bathrooms
* Repeated questioning by curious locals
* Difficulty sneaking away from work or school (especially if you're
the
teacher)
* Forgetting to bring a scope

With Rarity Search Valet, these problems are a thing of the past! We
keep
your interests on file, monitor regional hotlines, and notify you if
rare
birds of interest are found in the area. Then our van will pick you up,
or
you can drive to an authorized parking place and be shuttled to the
best
viewing sites. Our drivers stay in constant communication by radio and
cell
phone, ready to transport you to a likelier spot or bring you a
sandwich and
a thermos of coffee. The support truck is stocked to ensure your
comfort:
protective clothing (including overboots), umbrellas, folding chairs
suitable for use on wet or uneven ground, and Porta-Johns. Select which
one
of our high-quality scopes you prefer to use, and we will attach it to
a
sturdy tripod, carry it and set it up.

A public liaison specialist will accompany you and courteously answer
inquiries from property owners, reporters, and sheriffs. This frees you
up
to concentrate on locating and enjoying the rare bird. Within 24 hours
of a
rarity being discovered, Rarity Search Valet will print up a
description of
the bird (including photos or artwork) to hand out as well.

Subscribers at the "Gold Level" get an extra benefit: Our staff
physicians
will provide you with a plausible written medical excuse for missing
that
meeting or class. We can also arrange to mollify your non-birding
spouse
left home alone; ask our representative for details.

So grab your binoculars and leave the logistics to us -- Rarity Search
Valet
guarantees everything but the birds!

<end fantasy>

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Janet Millenson
Potomac, MD (Montgomery County)
 
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"Look at the birds!" -- Pascal the parrot